The 13 Worst Beer Names

When it comes to beer brands, everyone can appreciate a clever pun now and then—hats off to you, Hoptimus Prime. But far too many of those monikers are so unappealing, they cross into dangerous "I don’t want to put this anywhere near my mouth" territory.

For your sheer cringe-worthy enjoyment, raise a glass to 13 of the very worst offenders. Or, maybe don't?

Macedonian Thrace Brewery
The small town of Vergina, Greece, is home to this incredibly unfortunate namesake beer company, where apparently not one, solitary marketing rep spoke English and stopped this fiasco before it happened. Mmmmm, ice cold Vergina.

Clown Shoes
"Might as well be a bullseye."

The Grizzly Paw Brewing Company
Because when I order a beer, my main criteria are hoppiness, ABV, and man camel toe quotient. 

Evil Twin Brewing
Everyone is already painfully aware of the aftermath of a night of drinking. This just seems unnecessary. 

Portneuf Valley Brewing
It's not so much the drunk donkey, but the deadly combination of "nut" "ass" and "brown" all on one label that landed Portneuf on this list.

Palo Alto Brewing Company
The quality pun here is obscured by the bottle's label, in which you are forced to picture an anthropomorphized herb's genitalia. Fun for the whole family!

Cellar Rats Brewery
Which do you think would taste better? Beer brewed from actual rodents, or the default hair style of every preteen boy in the '80s?

Great River Brewery
The beer that tells the world, "I’m at the epicenter of a midlife crisis and likely have some unresolved issues stemming from a traumatic summer camp incident."

New England Brewing Company
This India Pale Ale raised eyebrows and tempers form religious groups for using a robotic illustration of Gandhi mid-blessing. Wait, beer doesn't count on a hunger strike, right?

Rogue Ales
In a brilliant marketing move, Rogue equates its beer with actual piss. Cheers.

Dogfish Head Brewery
Speaking of piss, this exists.

Oskar Blues
Scotch ale, with a side of penis euphemism. 

Wasatch Brewery
Shockingly located in Utah—America's creepy uncle state—Polygamy Porter celebrates having your cake, eating it too, and washing that cake down with an ice cold Porter. Oh, in this case, cake is an analogy for multiple partners.

Ali Drucker is a staff writer for Supercompressor. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.