What Is Mature Love? Here Are 10 Signs You’ve Found It

Some relationships are driven by the belief that your significant other should “complete you,” that you need another person to make you feel whole. But depending on someone else for your happiness and sense of self is bound to result in feelings of insecurity, resentment, and disappointment from both parties, especially in the face of obstacles. For a much stronger foundation and a more fulfilling union, all healthy relationships have one characteristic in common: maturity.

Mature love refers to a healthy, secure, and stable relationship where both individuals have a deep, emotionally intimate connection that doesn’t waiver regardless of the circumstances. Even when life is particularly difficult, the two of you are still committed to one another. In mature partnerships, you and your significant other love, accept, trust, understand, and respect one another despite your flaws and the state of your lives. These types of relationships are the most satisfying and long-lasting. “It fosters a supportive environment where both partners can thrive, offering a solid foundation for dealing with life's challenges,” clinical psychologist Yasmine Saad explains. “Mature love contributes to emotional wellbeing.”

Wondering if your relationship is mature? Below, we’ve created a guide to mature love, which includes the characteristics that define it, 10 signs that you’ve found it, and expert-approved tips to promote it.

The Definition of Mature Love

Mature love is a profound form of love that embodies stability, emotional strength, trust, respect, and commitment, qualities that always endure, no matter what. Despite your own flaws and the trials and tribulations of life, the two of you still love and accept one another, so this type of union is free from conditions and expectations. Saad notes that with mature love, even if you’re personally struggling, you can still support and celebrate your partner. And even if life seems challenging, you are still able to resolve conflicts and persevere. According to licensed marriage and family therapist Nirveeta Charles, this type of relationship transcends lust and infatuation, presenting a stronger, deeper bond that only grows over time.

Characteristics of Mature Love

Mature love has several defining characteristics, which we unpack below.

Mutual Respect

With a mutually respectful relationship, one of the key qualities of mature love, both partners value and accept the other despite their differences, according to Saad. When respect is present, you and your significant other are able to acknowledge and validate one another’s feelings, interests, opinions, and beliefs, even if they look different from each other.

Compassion

Compassion is integral to mature love. This characteristic involves empathy and deep understanding, which allow you to put yourself in your partner’s shoes in order to truly grasp their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. To have a safe, supportive relationship, compassion is a must.

Emotional Connection

Being emotionally connected to your partner is another important attribute of mature love. With emotional intimacy, your relationship goes much deeper than the surface—you’re willing to be open and vulnerable with one another, letting your guard down and sharing your private feelings. As a result, the two of you feel seen and heard.

Independence

Although mature love encompasses an unbreakable connection, you’re still able to maintain your unique individuality. In this type of relationship, you and your partner are still your own person, which preserves your self-worth and autonomy. Without independence, the relationship can quickly become codependent and one-sided.

The Difference Between Mature Love and Immature Love

Immature relationships tend to consist of insecure individuals who rely on one another to regulate their emotions and feel any semblance of happiness. “You expect them to fulfill you and rebalance you,” Saad says. With high levels of codependency and high expectations, when one person in the partnership fails to make the other happy, the relationship will crumble, according to Saad. If one person is in a good place, the other will experience envy and disappointment and try to tear their partner down, instead of building them up. “These relationship dynamics tend to leave little room for the individual growth and development of its individuals,” Charles notes.

On the contrary, with mature love, each person in the relationship is independent and able to meet their own needs without solely relying on the other. Each person is fulfilled on their own, so being together only adds value and meaning to their lives, not more problems. The relationship encourages both individuals to grow on their own and as a unit. No matter how either one is feeling or what they’re experiencing, both people are able to love, accept, and support one another without jeopardizing their own wellbeing and happiness.

Signs You Have Mature Love in Your Relationship

Now that we’ve defined what mature love is and is not, you’re probably curious if your own relationship demonstrates this quality. Here are 10 signs your union is mature.

There’s Unconditional Love

Love is always flowing in a mature relationship. There aren’t any conditions, like looking or behaving a certain way, that need to be present in order to accept and appreciate your partner. You’ll know if your love is mature if you and your significant other embrace one another’s flaws instead of trying to change them. The two of you recognize that these little quirks and idiosyncrasies are what make your loved one uniquely them.

Your Relationship Has Mutual Trust

Trust is the foundation of all healthy, mature partnerships. When you trust your partner, you feel comfortable and safe to confide in them, knowing they’ll still love and accept you. With trust, you’re certain your loved one will remain faithful and committed—without needing concrete evidence or constant reassurance, per Saad. Trust creates closeness and a more fulfilling experience. 

Your Communication Is Open and Honest

Open and honest communication is another sign that you and your partner have mature love. “This indicates each person’s willingness to pay attention to their own internal experiences and express themselves in an honest and direct way, while allowing space for their partner to do the same,” Charles explains. The two of you have a safe space to comfortably and candidly share your thoughts and emotions, knowing that the other will always validate and support you, no matter what you say.

There’s a Nonjudgmental Atmosphere

During these conversations, not only do the two of you feel comfortable opening up, but you’re also both willing and able to listen without passing judgment. Accepting your significant other and empathizing with what they’re thinking and feeling instead of criticizing them will create a safe and open atmosphere that encourages even more disclosure. 

You Empathize With One Another

All mature love demonstrates empathy, the ability to understand and take on your partner’s perspective. When this skill is present, you’re able to listen attentively, ask questions, and validate their thoughts and emotions. “Allowing space for your partner’s experiences is important in respecting their own individual journeys,” Charles says. Not only does empathy allow the two of you to grow on your own, building self-confidence and self-acceptance, but it also encourages the growth of your union. 

You Can Effectively Resolve Conflicts

If your love is mature, then you and your partner can resolve conflicts—which are inevitable—with effective communication. This looks like sharing your perspective in a direct, non-emotional way and listening to what the other has to say without interrupting, blaming, or shaming them. Saad points out that in an immature relationship, one person often lets the other person “win” instead of standing their ground. “Still, underlyingly, they don't feel good about it, silently eroding their love and appreciation for their partner,” she concludes. Instead, a successful solution often entails a compromise that considers both perspectives.

You Have Zero Expectations

Oftentimes, in immature relationships, individuals heavily rely on one another, looking to the other to fix their own problems. There are certain, unrealistic expectations, leaving the person constantly disappointed when the other doesn’t deliver. “The moment the expectations shift to the other having to fulfill your needs, you will be attached to certain outcomes and ways for the other to be,” Saad remarks. “This will lead to upset feelings in the relationship and a break in communication and love.” With mature love, you don’t expect your partner to be anything but themself, and you recognize that you are the only one who can heal yourself, which creates space for the relationship to breathe and flourish.

You Support Each Other No Matter What

You’ll know your union is mature if you and your partner are able to support one another—even if you aren’t currently operating at their level. “Often, in an immature relationship, it is a ‘me vs. you’ type of relationship, meaning if one is doing well, the partner feels left behind or is hurt by their partner’s wellbeing,” Saad says. On the other hand, with mature love, if your significant other gets promoted or receives a compliment, for example, you feel happy for them, not envious or resentful because you know their successes don’t automatically make you inadequate.

You Both Maintain Your Independence

“Mature love is built on the foundation of two individuals who are content and fulfilled on their own,” Charles points out. You and your partner can both function (and thrive) on your own because you’re both self-aware, able to take full responsibility for your emotions and actions, and capable of meeting your own needs. Plus, neither of you feels the need to abandon your identity for the sake of the other person—the relationship encourages you to preserve your uniqueness.

You’re Both Working Toward Shared Goals

While independence is essential for every mature partnership, it’s also important that the two of you work together to achieve your shared relationship goals. This could be anything, from establishing a nighttime ritual together to buying your dream home. “Seeing signs that your partner is interested in working toward markers of success for a shared vision helps create a sense of safety and security,” Charles shares.

How to Build and Sustain Mature Love in Your Relationship

If you’re in a mature relationship, there are certain steps you can take to maintain and enhance this key characteristic.  

Cultivate Your Sense of Self

The first step involves learning about yourself outside of the relationship—and working on self-acceptance. What are your hobbies, interests, and passions that make you you? Set aside time to understand what fulfills you and make an effort to consistently incorporate these things into your life. This also involves learning how to regulate your emotions, so you don’t depend on anyone else for your wellbeing, according to Saad.

Practice Refraining from Judgment

In addition to self-acceptance, if you want to foster maturity in your union, you must work on accepting your partner. This means demonstrating compassion and trying to understand the other’s motives and desires instead of judging what they did or said, Saad explains. Outside of interpersonal conversations, Saad suggests recalling all of the traits that you admire most about your partner.

Strengthen Your Communication Skills

Healthy communication—both verbal and nonverbal—is paramount to any mature relationship. Luckily, communicating is a skill that you can hone. Take time to learn about effective communication skills, such as active listening and maintaining open body language, and make an effort to practice them with your partner. “This can help ensure that the needs of each person are being regularly expressed and validated, and decisions about the future of the relationship and the wellbeing of each person can be considered,” Charles states. 

Understand Each Other’s Love Languages

Everyone has a different way of giving and receiving love, whether it’s physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, or gifts. Saad recommends asking your partner to share their love language before expressing your own. Then, make it a daily practice to carry out your significant other’s preference. Doing so will make them feel seen, valued, and appreciated.